I just read an article by happenstance that made me cringe. No, more than that…it made me angry!
The article entitled ‘Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos” (seriously, I should have known to just stop reading right then and there, but alas…), spends an exhausting 807 words primarily hammering in the multitude of reasons why a woman has no right to an education (she needs to be at home barefoot, baking pies, and preparing for those babies, after all) and how our entire existence as females pirouettes precariously upon the delicate point of pleasing those of the male persuasion.
Oh, blessed be thouest with a penis.
Now normally, I steer free of things like this because, frankly, I have more important and far less painful things to spend my time on…like prying my fingernails off one by one… But something deep in my inner core refuses my silence on this one. For whatever reason I was compelled to read it, and now I feel obligated to answer in kind.
I spend my life teaching women to love themselves, pouring into them, telling them how beautiful they are just the way they are, and reminding them that they are not less important than the men they are married to. So yeah, when I read this garbage circulating among them, I feel the righteous wrath roiling up from within. So…
Dear ‘Transformed’ Wife: The article you wrote is a demoralizing, undermining, theologically twisted devaluation of the beauty and worth of all women – women created just as fully as men in the image of the God of which you speak. In a world where women are still the number one oppressed and abused people group (international women of color exponentially so), articles like this one serve only to further the disparaging gender gap and erase hundreds of years of advancement hard won by the blood and toil of our sisters.
Shame on you for even suggesting that the education of women is somehow sinful or against God’s will. Shame on you for the objectification of women based on our genitalia. Shame on you for alluding to the notion that a woman cannot be educated, opinionated, successful and still be a vessel of God and/or an amazing wife.
And to do it under the stamp of Jesus, who historically strove time and time again to elevate women and improve their lot in an era when they were treated as mere objects – both disturbing and dangerous. No wonder people hate Christians. Hell, I am a follower of Christ and this makes me want to hate us!
There are so many – too many – of my sisters in this great big world who struggle with identity, depression, sexual slavery, abuse, and oppression. To elevate and give rationalization (no matter how shallow and unsupported) to every misogynistic asshole out there who would crush the spirit of their wives, female employees, daughters, sisters – everything I stand against…and Jesus stands against, by the way – is more than ignorant, it is blatant blasphemy and fodder of fools. And to come from a woman? ‘And you are lukewarm and neither cold nor hot, I am going to vomit you from my mouth.’
Though many of the readers of your ill-conceived notions rightfully [thankfully] scoff in scorn at this nonsensical piece of tabloid trash…it is, nonetheless, a very dangerous scythe in the wrong hands, and it bears rebuttal. What scares me the most is that for some unfathomable reason 75,000 people follow your page. That means 75,000 people are listening to your preposterous penis pontification, a percentage of which could feasibly be lead to falsely believe that their beauty is somehow marred by the ink on their skin, the circumstances of their past, or the authority of a man.
Lies, every one.
Yeah, I am mad. I love women, and I fight daily for them. To even imagine their hearts being tainted by such untruth sends my blood into a full boil. What they need is encouragement and empowerment to shine in a world that would blot out their light, not the tamping out of their flames by another woman. But a little piece of me is also sick at heart for you. Because you, my sister are a woman who is so fully bound by the heavy chains of legalism that you are missing the love, the beauty, the equalization, and the freedom of the Christ you claim to serve. You are as lost as the women you so self-righteously judge. Somewhere along the way a man has warped you to believe that you are not beautiful to God just as you are. So I want to hate you…but mostly I pity you.
However, ironically enough, in this particular case, you should have probably taken your own advice, put down your pen, and gone and baked your husband a pie. It would have been more productive, and the women of our world would have been better ‘served’.
To my beautiful, strong, amazing ladies: Having a vagina does not somehow make you a lesser being, it does not negate your intelligence, it does not devalue your worth, it does not make you less capable. It means you have a vagina. That’s it. Shocker, I know.
BE VAGINA PROUD.
Love who you are. You are not ‘just’! You are precious. You are capable, strong, amazing, worthy, intelligent, world-changers!
YES! I am a strong supporter of marriage as a partnership, but never would I encourage my women to throw their aspirations, dreams, hopes, and ideas into the garbage shoot for the greater good of a penis. We are not God’s side thought; we are his opus magnum! Submission in the Biblical sense does not mean slavery, it means reciprocally equal and selflessly serving love – both directions! Look, Jesus was wholly ‘submissive’ to God, and He had ultimate power over all creation, all salvation, all sanctification. That’s not slavery, that’s ultimate freedom.
I can’t help but sit here and wonder how many cures have never been discovered, how many books have never been written, how many lives were never saved, how many inventions have never been invented, how many galaxies have never been explored, how many communities have never been built because of this kind of backward religious thinking. It’s why I hate religion as a whole. How many brilliant, world-changing ideas have lived and died in the silent, oppressed hearts of women?
I strongly believe in the world-changing power of women – women of all religions, background, colors. We have been given a voice to sing, not to be silent! We have been given talents, to use, not to squander! We have been given dreams to chase, not to deny!
God meets people right where they are. He doesn’t care about the ink on their skin. He doesn’t care about the sexual experiences of their past. He doesn’t care about the money in their bank account. He wants them. Beautifully broken just as they are. And I
want deserve a man that acts and believes accordingly.
I am lucky. I love that I have a man that supports MY dreams and is not afraid to admit that my place in this world is just as important and justified as his. I love that he learns from me just as fully as I learn from him. I love that he doesn’t care if I ink my body or not. I love that he looks at my heart and not my pocketbook. I love that he wants my daughter to go to medical school and fulfill her dream and her calling. I love that he loves me – just the way I am.
But guess what…if he didn’t…he wouldn’t be the right man for me anyway. Because I am who I am, beautifully and fearfully made…flaws and all.
And so are you.
Be Vagina Proud, my beautiful sisters, and F.L.Y.
I love you, aviation family.
~Angelia (a successful, educated, flawed VAGINA PROUD Pilot Wife)
Just Winging It: Prayers for My Pilot Wife (autographed)
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