Can I tell you a frank secret? Because you are, after all, my people…
I got up this morning and he was gone. I reached for him, but he wasn’t there, and my heart did a sad little flip.
Sooooo I checked my messages to cheer me up. Big mistake. The first one I received this morning was from an angry man harshly criticizing me for running this site and for being a pilot wife. ‘I should be ashamed of myself,’ or so he boldly declared. He is not even in the aviation field—not even remotely connected—but he felt entitled to his bitter words and unjustifiable anger toward a complete stranger. You know, toward me.
I grumpily slammed down my phone, crawled out of bed, opened the door, and was met by absolute chaos. I glared around at all the piles of dirty laundry, unwashed dishes, and enough dust bunnies to start a new farm piled around after an exhaustingly busy weekend.
And yeah, friends, I felt tired…and a little lot discouraged.
For a fleeting moment, I thought to myself that maybe, just maybe, I’m not the right one to do this for you—to be your encourager. Because today? I didn’t really want to be a pilot’s wife. I wanted my husband home in my arms, not jaunting around the country. I wanted mean people to stop saying mean things for the sake of meanness. And I wanted to not be forever and a day (or six) behind on life.
But then I realized that makes me the perfect person to do this for you—to be your encourager. Because I get it. This is #thepilotwifelife. It’s messy. Very! I have learned how to have lots of great days, but sometimes it’s still hard. Sometimes ‘those days’ creep in under the radar. I am, without a doubt, an imperfect, messed up, flaming hot mess.
And that makes me perfect for this, because I am real. I am perfect chaos.
I stopped and took a deep breath and realized something very important. Days like today help me help you better because my words? They’re not just empty words from an outside person but rather words of empathy from someone who has been there, done that. Recently. Like…right now, as we speak.
That gives me new perspective and makes me thankful for today. It makes me cherish the loneliness, the frustration, the real…because I know that it makes me a better advocate for you. It gives me real perspective. It helps me identify with you and your ‘those days.’
It makes me a real pilot’s wife. I love, love, love being a pilot’s wife and I love, love, love being able to encourage you. Because my chaos—your chaos—is perfectly beautiful.
I am convinced that we need this community. We need to know it’s okay to have ‘those’ days. We need to be able to lean on one another for encouragement and love and advice.
And we need to remind one another to keep F.L.Y.ing even when it’s hard or we don’t feel like it.
So I’m still here. And I still love you, aviation family. I’m not going anywhere, I promise. Well…except maybe to the grocery store because my kids are, apparently, not too keen on a(nother) dinner of lettuce and ketchup.
I love you, aviation family.
Tailwinds,
Angelia (a fellow pilot wife)
CHECK OUT THE JUST WINGING IT SERIES BY ANGELIA GRIFFIN HERE!
There is a saying going around, Haters are going to hate. Do not let this hater get you down. As a light attendant for 30 years, I can’t tell you how many times I was told not to let the bad things people said get to me. It is hard sometimes, but you have to let it go. You have a loving family and airline family, so hold your head up and smile. In 20 years you won’t even remember this hater, but you will remember all of the people who love and encourage you.
This!! I love my aviation family. I wouldn’t trade all the haters in the world leaving me alone for missing out on the chance to speak into even one of your lives. It’s so worth it to me and I love you for reminding me.
After being a pilots wife approaching 38 years I can say it gets better… ok not always better but easier. You become a much more independent person if you weren’t already because when you walk into your family room and there is a baby rattle snake in the middle of the room and your husband isn’t home but your kindergartener is, you need to take care of business. Or when the pool filters quit working and they need to be changed and your husband is on a trip for 3 more days and if you don’t fix it it’s going to burn the motor out you figure out what needs to be done. Or when there is a 4 ft rattlesnake in the back yard coiled up outside the gate of your dogs kennel and your dog is barking like crazy you better take care of that too because of course your husband is on his way home from his 2 hour drive from SFO having just ended a 4 day trip but the snake doesn’t seem to being going anywhere but maybe inside the kennel. Or when He was based in DEN and it only seemed to snow the nights he was gone and I was the one who was there to shovel the driveway in order to get the kids to school. Or when your son slams the door on your daughters hand and yep you guessed his flight just left 2 hours earliyand he won’t be home for 2 days. You learn to make friends fast and how to take care of things around the house and you go to all of your kids events and get involved because your husband can’t always be there . You go to parties alone because he’s ” flying again ” , and you want to make sure your kids don’t miss out just because dad can’t be there. But you learn to handle things around the house even if not always perfect but you do it, because it’s for your family and it helps your husband not feel so bad & hope he knows he doesn’t need to worry about you and the kids. Although he still does worry about me, to this day every time he leaves for a trip he asks me “are you going to be ok here by yourself”, to which my reply is yeah I got this. But the good thing is he’s no longer on reserve p, he not only holds a line but can pretty much pick his schedule and even can bid 10 days off in a row not even using vacation time! Plus if there are any seats available on flights I’m usually the first stand by to get a seat, very very rarely is it first class but it’s a economy plus almost Avery time! I’m thankful and grateful for my husbands career because if I wasn’t independent when we started this journey I sure as heck am now! Sorry for the book but it does get better, just hang in there!
I’m year 14 of #thepilotwifelife. And this ‘book’ made me laugh so hard! I live on a farm so I totally resemble the rattlesnake comments. LOL. Last trip my son (9) came in and nonchalantly informed me there was a copperhead living in their play area. Of course…no pilot! I spent an hour searching for that little bugger and tearing apart the yard. And finally, under the last stinking tiny of leaves….sure enough! It coiled up and struck at me. Pilot wives are capable of so much more than we even imagine! You cannot be scared or let the world overwhelm you because you don’t have time or a backup plan! I have had to chase my 600-pound escaped pig and convince her (with Doritos) that she really wanted to come home, fended off numerous venomous snakes, survived a car accident with my children on board, fixed more household items than I like to count…and so much more with him gone! And the kicker is, I usually don’t even bother telling him because it does nothing but stresses him out! What is he going to do about his wife wrestling a copperhead 500 miles away? So I do it…wait until the moment has passed and calmly answer to how was your day, “Oh, no big deal. Just took care of a copperhead, fought an escaped killer lion, and saved the world. I’ve GOT this.”
Crack me up! We think the same way. Really what good is it going to do to tell him. I remember when my husband was going through initial training, my college aged son called and told me that he had an issue and his coach had schedule surgery for the day after tomorrow. I was like ok. I’ll be there, what time? Here’s the kicker…the day after tomorrow was check ride day!! How in the world could I put that stresser on him. So, I drove the 4 1/2 hours to the hospital. Waited through the surgery. Sat with my son until he woke up. Listened to him say all the crazy things people say when coming out from under anesthesia, laughing hysterically! Then when all was good, called my hubby (got his voicemail) and very sweetly said “just to let you know, Cody is out of surgery and doing great! Hope your check is going well. Call me later. Love ya!” The things we do!!
YESSSS!!!
while not a pilots wife, I am retired UAL. and I do need your encouragement, I am now 85, widowed, however my 62yr divorced son lives with me. we are like roommates,rather than mother & son, company and help for each other. even so I do get down, now and then, so its good to read your blog. I can relate/remember the life you now have. cherish it, because its gone in a blink of an eye, & you’l wish it was back.
Beautiful! Thank you for stopping by to love on me like this. And I plan to keep on loving on you and your son too. Keep your head up, beautiful. You are an inspiration to me and so many others. We love you, our retired sister!!
Well, I must tell you how grateful I am! I felt the same way this morning when I looked around my house! Thanks for doing what you do.
This fills my heart with encouragement. I love knowing my mess can positively affect another’s day! ❤️
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Bravo!!! Loved your “words”. Keep them coming. You are real and that is what I love about your Blog. Thank you xxx
Thank you! I cannot be (and refuse to be!) anything other than who I am! I think that is the problem with the world. We spend so much time trying to impress others that we lose sight of us. I’m going to continue to be real and be me!