I know this woman.
She should hate me, and I should hate her too. By all conceivable, current-day, self-gratifying logic, she and I have every rational reason and personal right to downright loathe one another.
But we don’t. In fact, we are friends.
If you laid out our general beliefs, tastes, affiliations, religions, political preferences, and lifestyles neatly side-by-side, you would be hard pressed to find two people who walk on more opposite ends of the spectrum…on almost every level.
Yet, we do have two threads of commonality which brought us together–we are both pilots’ wives, and we both love books.
Here’s the thing. With great intentionality, she and I choose to let our threads of commonality bind us together in love rather than let our many differences tear us apart in hatred. We willingly choose to celebrate our differences.
It is a choice, you know. So we choose love.
Here’s how it works. When I post something she does not agree with, she chooses to shrug, scroll on past, and not provoke me with hateful commentary. And vice versa. It’s a scroll, don’t troll mentality.
When she makes a personal decision in her private life that I wouldn’t make in a million years for mine, I choose to accept that it is her life and it is her right to do so, and I choose not to judge her or attempt to humiliate her publicly. And vice versa.
When we disagree vehemently about a subject (which is more often than not!) we choose to discuss it in a private forum and express our thoughts to one another in a way that is not attacking or personal. We listen, we learn, and we think outside our comfortable boxes. And then in the end we usually laugh and agree to disagree.
It’s beautiful beyond imagining. Why? Because love wins.
Not so very long ago in an aviation land not so very far away, a bunch of people with a troll-don’t-scroll mentality made a different choice—to attack me, a complete stranger, for something I wrote. I’m not talking about the expression of well-written, differing opinions. Just downright nastiness for the sole sake of being nasty.
And this woman, this sweet pilot wife friend of mine with whom I have little else in common, was the first to come to my defense. She posted her outright support for me in a private PW group and asked for others to encourage me and show their own support. I cannot begin to express what that meant to me.
I mean, this. This, this, and this!!
She suggested that those who are the ‘praying type’ send prayers on my behalf (because she knows I am that ‘type’) and suggested that those who weren’t send me all their different types of Mojo just like she was sending hers because she’s not the praying type.
It was the first time that I actually got a little teary-eyed during that whole ordeal. Why? Because she could easily choose to hate me, but instead, despite our deep and obvious differences, she has chosen something better–something beautiful. She chooses love.
We have chosen kindness, compassion, and friendship despite our glaring differences. Look, it’s easy to love people that look, think, talk, and believe like us. But to choose to love people that don’t? Well, that is something that is unheard of in our world—something unique, refreshing, beautiful.
I accept her Mojo with humbled gratitude. I will never, ever turn down her Mojo. Why? Because that means she cares enough about me to lift me up the way she lifts people up. She’s loving me the best way she knows how. That’s not offensive, that’s beautiful. By the way, I willingly accept all the Mojo and prayers I can get, so bring it on!
And yeah, in the same way, I pray for her often. And she accepts my prayers not as offensive, but as a token of my love because she knows it’s me lifting her up in the best way I know how. It’s not offensive, it’s beautiful.
Here’s why I share our story with you.
Sometimes, too often, I see pilots’ wives saying not-so-nice things to one other. Sometimes it’s very intentional, and sometimes it’s accidentally offensive.
This community, the aviation community, is beautifully diverse. Just on The Pilot Wife Life page alone, we have an amazing rainbow of women that span every corner of the spectrum–from teens hoping for a someday career in aviation to widows who have flown the race, from military wives to civilian wives, from private enthusiasts to commercial captains, and even from million mile flyers to those who have never stepped foot in an aircraft.
We even have all the members of our ‘honorary aviation family’ here as well!
I love that!
This means that we all come from incredible, diverse, colorful backgrounds with unique life experiences. We have so much to offer one another, so much to learn from one another…if only we lay down our preconceived notions and choose to listen and love.
We have a choice to make, friends.
We can either choose kindness, compassion, and friendship, living life together in beautiful community despite our deep and obvious differences…
Or we can choose the ‘other’ lesser runway of hatred.
Here’s what I know. There are already more than enough naysayers in this mean old world. There are already more than enough hurdles to living this life well. Criticism is a nickel a dozen. We have a choice to be something new, fresh, uplifting, different. We have the ability to make the aviation community, whether here or in the connect groups across the nation and world, a beautiful place of encouragement and support.
Let’s choose love!
Let’s choose to scroll, don’t troll. Let’s choose to accept each other for the amazing, diverse women that we are. Let’s choose not to judge and humiliate our sisters publicly. And let’s choose to simply laugh every now and then and agree to disagree.
With great intentionality, let us choose to let our thread of commonality as pilot wives bind us together in love rather than allowing our many differences to tear us apart in hatred.
Because love wins.
Let’s consider with careful scrutiny and loving intent the words coming out of our mouths (and fingertips) before saying them. Let us not speak words to one another that tear down, demean, belittle, or destroy but rather only words that encourage, build up, create life, bring hope, and spread joy!
Doesn’t that sound extraordinary!?
Ladies, we are not cargo or commercial. We are not military or civilian. We are not young or less young. We are not the praying type or the Mojo type.
We are sisters–aviation sisters.
Let’s celebrate our differences and love one another so deeply, compassionately, fiercely that the rest of the world stands up and takes note.
Let’s choose love.
I love you, aviation family.
Angelia (a fellow, diverse, beautiful pilot wife)