The A.R.T. of Love

Love. You can’t see it, touch it, hear it, taste it. It’s elusive and invisible. It comes out of nowhere and dissipates like mist in the wind, leaving us reeling in its wake.

It is nowhere to be seen, yet it is everywhere to be found. It is nothing…yet it is everything.

It controls our thoughts, affects our happiness, sways our decisions–yet it is as intangible as the wind.

The world is obsessed with love. We try to define it in every medium imaginable–music, literature, film, dance–because love truly is a work of A.R.T.

It is a breathtaking masterpiece, a prima ballerina assoluta performing a ballet of life, the magnum opus of the heart.

But what is love, really?

Love is not the momentary fluttery feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you meet ‘the one.’

It’s not the hopeful, excited feeling you get when you stand at the alter staring forever in the face. It’s not the deep contentment and joy you experience when everything in your marriage is going well.

It’s all these things…and much more.

Love isn’t always perfect. It isn’t a fairy tale or a storybook, and it doesn’t always come easy. It is the choice to love someone when you don’t like them very much and to stay and fight for your marriage when it would be easier to simply walk away.

Love is choosing to put the needs of another person above your own. It’s forgiving often and seeing past someone’s flaws to the value beyond.

Love is overcoming obstacles, facing challenges, fighting to be together, holding on and never letting go. It is a short word, easy to spell, difficult to define, and impossible to live without.

Love is hard work, but most of all, Love is realizing that every hour, every minute, and every second was worth it because you did it together.

Love is a beautiful, timeless work of A.R.T., and you are the artist! Every sunrise offers up a brand new, blank canvas just waiting for you to create a stunning masterpiece.

Every artist needs the right tools for the job, and love is no exception! The A.R.T. of love requires:

A-ction– Spend intentional time together, have fun, laugh often. Initiate intimacy. Treat your spouse in a kind loving way, even on the days when you don’t feel like they deserve it. Forgive freely. Hold each other often.

R-espect– Tell your spouse that you appreciate her. Be his biggest encourager; there are more than enough critics in the world already. Never demean or belittle your spouse in public or on social media. Walk away from anyone who speaks negatively about your spouse. Be proud of your spouse’s passions, talents, and career and tell him/her every chance you get.

T-alking– Great communication is the key to a great marriage. However, it doesn’t come naturally and takes practice and patience. Talk often; talk candidly. Listen without judgement. Take advantage of technology when you are apart. Deal with issues as they arise. Share your hopes, dreams, fears, failures, and successes.

You are a pilot wife–strong, beautiful, capable. You are also a talented artist and your canvas is waiting, so grab your tools and create a beautiful work of A.R.T.!

I love you, aviation family!


~Angelia (A fellow pilot wife)



14 thoughts on “The A.R.T. of Love”

  1. Miles Barnidge

    I just want to comment on your “If you’re mad at United but…” post, I noticed that the comments are closed on that one and that’s why I’m commenting on this post of your’s.
    I agree with you and am an aspiring pilot myself. My friends and family asked me what I thought about this event knowing I have a love and obsession for aviation. I share with them the same things you shared in your post. I just wanted you to know that there are a few people out there that support the facts you shared and hope to see more of what you said on social media. Thank you for writing the post and I hope that people change their minds and try, just try, to put themselves in the minds of airline CEOs, pilots, dispatchers, ATCs, flight attendants and many more people that keep the sky moving. You said it with “Damned if you do; damned if you don’t.” Thanks Angelia.

  2. Sharon Giannatto

    I am sad that I found you under these circumstances, via a (outraged friends) FB posting, but glad I did and will follow you.

    Your United blog was lunch conversation with my commercial pilot husband yesterday. I wanted him to read your blog and vet it to the best of his ability (lord know one has to vet EVERYTHING they find on the internet these days). He said what you posted was truth about the way the airlines work. His only comment was that he feels, in circumstances like this one, that airline gate agents should be able to sweeten the offer until there are takers. But, personally, I can see several issues with that.

    I have one question. I have been googling and reading many perspectives of this and I have not found anything that backs up your statement “The passenger was forcibly removed by federal aviation security (the disturbing clip that everyone is talking about) after running back into the secured area after being escorted out once.” I find that statement in various online discussions, however, as people are quoting you. This leads me to believe that you have first hand information (your husband?). If so, the media is totally ill informed, or intentionally leaving this very important tidbit out. Can you clarify this for me? To me this is the most important detail and most people don’t even know about it.

  3. Words cannot explain the gratitude I feel for your article on United! I am a writer and wanted to verify your site because the words were so perfectly suited to help others find sanity to what had seemed to be insanity! I came to find if you were real, or someone’s idea of how to get through to the public for United. Thank You! I will post to my sites now. I like to verify before I take action. I pray that your words will touch the hearts of many and cause us all to think of what we will do, if ever a situation arises, that is different, yet the same! I, for one, plan to search my heart more sincerely before making a decision based without fact, as I believe each of those passengers should do, to see if they don’t need to feel responsibility for the fact that their judgement call, that the crew was only wanting to take advantage of the free ride along had some responsibility in the over reactive police removal of Mr. Dao. Many words to say Thank You! The A R T of Love is a phenomenal work, Thank You! Blessings, from someone who had no idea of the trials your families face.
    Aha, perhaps I shall pick you brain, or your writings as it were, and add a touch of pilot family life to a character in a coming book.

    Cheryl G Burke

    1. I am, indeed, real. Though I think it quite flattering that you and so many others found my writing at a level that it was widely assumed I was hired by United, I was not. I actually have no affiliation with them (my husband does not work for United either) and I have had no contact with them. I wrote the article on my own volition as a voice for my seeet aviation community I represent and mentor. I said what needed to be said out of love for my aviation brothers and sisters. I am actually not ‘just a pilot wife’ either (another odd assumption). I am a magazine contributor, free-lance writer, and two-time published novelist. My work is The Crystal Keys series: Champion of Destiny (book I) and Sera Oth Berinin (book II). I am a liaison for a homeless ministry, run our family farm, and own my own publishing company. I very much have my own identity separate from his! In fact, this week he’s just ‘the bloggers husband!’ 😉 I would delight in brain picking. Do keep in touch. I’d love to hear about your book(s) as I have a deep love for the written word.

    1. Interesting. Yeah, this article was written well after my original and obviously uses my thought process in definition. It’s so hard ot here as a writer with all the plagerism. Unfortunately, the writer tweaked it enough there are probably no ramifications I can take. He/she does (if I do say so myself) lack my sparkling flare and personality in their writing. It’s frustrating but a pain we deal with in the literary world constantly. 😢

      Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I am going to have to keep an eye on this guy for continued issues at which point I would have more ground to stand on. **sighs

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