Split Second

I just got home from dropping my husband off at the airport. He’s currently commuting out of New York, and we do not live at base or an airline hub, so unfortunately we don’t have the privilege of free employee parking at the local airport. It’s cheaper to play the drop-him-off-pick-him-up game than for him to park at the airport, so that’s what we do for now. A nickel saved is a nickel earned, you know!

The drive is about 40 minutes both ways on a good day. There is rarely a good day when dealing with Houston traffic. Less so when dealing with airport traffic. If you know, you know. Today was not a good day. It was raining pretty hard, there was standing water on the roadway, and people were being particularly people-ish on the road. To add a cherry to the top, there was a huge wreck at the terminal exit’s mergence to the main road completely blocking all lanes which backed up traffic and required a slight detour.

While sitting in crawling traffic with the rain tinging off the windshield and the map displaying a long red route ahead (almost double the normal time), there was a split second when I found myself feeling completely annoyed and put out. I hate, hate, hate driving in the rain. I hate, hate, hate Houston traffic. I bemoaned my misfortune to the emptiness in the car about all the other [much more fun and/or productive] things I could be doing instead of this.

You know… Like maybe cutting four acres of grass one blade at a time with a pair of infant fingernail clippers. Or standing barefoot in a fire ant hill. Anything but this.

Then it hit me. I would be arriving at my home in a little over an hour. In a little over an hour, my husband would settling into a tight little jump seat to commute across the country. In two to three hours I would be eating a delicious meal and watching football with my son. My husband would still be sitting in an uncomfortable jump seat commuting across the country. And in several hours? I would be in my snuggery (Okay,, okay… So I just learned this word and am of course now testing it out on you lucky people!) surrounded by comforting familiarity drifting off to peaceful sleep. My husband would be walking into a strange, unfamiliar crashpad room alone hoping to sleep despite the noise and presence of strangers.

Snuggery- noun: a cozy or comfortable place, especially someone’s private room or den.

And tomorrow? The next day? The one after that? I will be enjoying the beautiful fall weather, checking out festivals, watching movies, cuddling my pets, relaxing in our lovely home…all of which his hard work provides for our family. My husband? Best case scenario he will be sitting in the flight deck for long hours and sleeping in a different hotel each night. Worst case, he will be sitting at an airport on reserve for endless hours waiting to be assigned a trip while a stream of nameless faces pass him by. Fun stuff.

Perspective is an ineffable centering object.

For a split second I had let my thoughts laser focus in on the immediate vexations of me, my, mine. It wasn’t until I forcibly panned out and took in the entire picture that I could clearly see how inconsequential my own temporary inconveniences were in comparison. Ouch.

I think it is really important to stop here for a second to say this: It is not wrong to feel. I am not insinuating that to be true in any way or form. In fact, it is deeply unhealthy to shove down our feelings and pretend they don’t exist. We all have ‘split seconds.’ Our feelings of annoyance, anger, frustration, etc. even when irrational, are our immediate emotional responses to stimuli around us based on our experiences, upbringings, beliefs, and everything else that makes us…well, us! They are not ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. They just are. Refusing to acknowledge and our feelings can lead to resentment, anxiety, and a lot of other unhealthy stuff.

However, perseverating on negative feelings is equally unhealthy and destructive. It is important to process what we feel, figure out if those feelings are worth pursuing, and if not letting go of the stuff that isn’t really a big deal. Perspective is a great tool for helping us determine the true value of the situation.

Everything feels important when you are imbued with the moment. However, more often than not the situation doesn’t demand nearly the energy we lend it. My drive today is a prime example! Sure, it was annoying in the moment. But in retrospect and with the blazing spotlight of perspective shining down upon it, it wasn’t a big deal. In fact, it wasn’t even a teeny-tiny, itty-bitty deal. It was minuscule at best.

Perspective is a great tool for helping us determine the true value of the situation.

Once I weighed my husband’s situational reality with my own, I immediately realized I had a choice. I could continue to inwardly whine and lament (which admittedly seemed kind of petty and childish in hindsight) or intentionally choose to utilize my hour of drive time in positive reflection. Not a hard decision. I began to pray for my husband as I navigated the backed up traffic. As I prayed, the rain suddenly stopped and there wasn’t another drop on my drive home (true story). I then very appropriately turned my attention to gratitude and thanked Jesus for my family, our home, provision, health, emotional clarity… And of course the clearer driving weather,

Wouldn’t you know it! Before I realized what had happened, the hour was gone and I was pulling up into my drive. And dare I say I was a little sad that my quiet time had come to and end!?

Perspective changes everything.

Look, I don’t understand why humans tend to nurse the negative narrative instead of pursuing the positive picture. It’s just what we do. However, I do know that we have a choice. By pondering perspective, pausing for prayer, and persistently pursuing positivity in our lives, we can effectively turn our split seconds into mindful moments. I challenge you to give it a try.

I love you, aviation family. Blue skies and tailwinds.