An Open Letter to My Aviation Husband in This Time of Uncertainty

Dear Husband,

I’ve been thinking a lot lately, and in light of all the craziness and uncertainty going on in our world right now, there’s something I need to make sure you know.

I’m with you. Always. Forever.

Do you remember that beautiful day when we stood hand in hand and melded two lives – two hearts – into one? We chose that, you and I. For richer or poorer. For better or worse. In sickness and in health. They weren’t just empty utterances to fill a ceremonial expectation; they were sincere promises – covenant prayers before God – to love and cherish one another for the rest of our lives. I meant them. Come blue skies or terrifying turbulence, honey, I meant them.

It’s true, life has waxed uncertain in the recent months. We have added a whole new vocabulary to our regular discourse – Covid, social distancing, WARN, masks, CARES, furlough…to name a few – that have altered our perfectly conceived flight plans in unimaginable ways. It has blown us way off course, so much so that I barely recognize the world around us anymore. This last six months have been one of the longest years of our lives.

I am a fixer. That is the nature of a Pilot Wife. You leave, stuff breaks, and I always figure out a way to fix it (albeit, sometimes to your great chagrin!). It’s my way of taking some of life’s burdens off of your shoulders. But I can’t fix this. I hate that. I watch you struggle underneath the immeasurable impact of this pandemic on your career, our world, our friends, our family, and it hurts. You wear your stoicism like a mantle, but I see you grow weary and stumble under the weight of the uncertainty that you are facing. No, not you…we. Because you are not in this alone.

I’m with you. Always. Forever.

Aviation has been a pursuit, hasn’t it?! We have both invested so much of our lives – time, money, and emotions – into this crazy aviation journey. And here I was thinking we had finally found that sweet cruising altitude and were in for some some smooth sailing! I guess it’s true that what goes up must eventually come down. It doesn’t mean I have to like it. Watching your dreams being crushed beneath the heavy heel of circumstance crushes me.

Listen… I love that you are a pilot. I love it because it’s your passion. I love the sparkle in your eyes when you talk about greasing the landing – like warm butter on toast, or so you told me! I love watching you live out your life’s dreams. I love seeing the pride in your stance when you wear those well earned bars. It fills me up to see you filled up. That’s the nature of love!

But.

Now pay close attention, because this is the really important part, and I don’t want you to miss it: I don’t love you because you are a pilot. I love you because you are you. Aviation is not your identity, it’s your [current] career. If you flip burgers, drive trucks, stock shelves, deliver packages… I will love you exactly the same. You are more than just a pilot to me. You are God’s child. You are my husband. You are our children’s father. You are my lover and my best friend. You are a great man. The wings don’t make the man; it’s the man that makes the wings.

So when life drops the furlough bomb on us, well, frankly it will suck. Royally. Will it be hard? Inevitably. Will we have to overhaul our plans and expectations for the future? Undoubtedly. Will we make it? Definitely. Together. Because I am yours and you are mine, and nothing this sorry ol’ world can throw at us will ever change that. You will always be Captain to me.

Let the wicked wind howl and the lightening strike as it may. Let the earth shudder and the floods come unabated. We will wrap ourselves in faith and hunker down under the eaves of hope and weather the storm side by side. Eventually it will abate and disperse as all storms must. Then we will emerge – battered, bruised, and maybe even a little bit soggy. Then we will pick up the pieces and fight our way back to the top of the world again. Because, baby, we are strong, together.

I’m with you. Always. Forever.

For better; for worse,

Your Wife

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